Mr Gryffie
by Green-eyes Potter
Summary: This is one of Quillian's (aka Kraeg01) challenges. Basically, it is an AU where Snape was a Gryffindor. How will he survive? ON HIATUS FOR DRASTIC IMPROVEMENT! I APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY, BUT IT WILL BE WORTH THE WAIT!
1. Default Chapter

Hey y'all! This is my first published Harry Potter fanfiction, so please be kind! BTW, this is one of Kraeg001's challenges. This chapter is really short but please review anyway!

"_Snape, Severus," Professor Mills read from her sheaf of parchment._

_The greasy-haired, pale-skinned boy stumbled forward to the worn Sorting Hat. James Potter stuck out his tongue from the Gryffindor, flanked by his new-found cronies._

"_Hmm...," the Hat said. "You're plenty ambitious, and have a lot of cunning. But you also are brave and bold. So it had better be......."_

"_NO!" Severus snarled. "There is no way in hell that I am joining those foul Mudbloods! I'll do anything, just KEEP ME IN SLYTHERIN!"_

_The people in the_ _Great Hall were growing anxious. Why hadn't that boy been Sorted yet?_

"_Mr. Snape, I am afraid I can not go back on my word of honour. I must make a truthful decision, and that I will do. So you're going to......GRYFFINDOR! _

REVIEWS, PLEASE!


	2. Knickers in Peril

I'M BACK!!!!!

First off, I would like to thank my awesome reviewers. You guys are awesome and the only reason I am here writing this. I apologize for the MAJOR delay, but I've been busy as a certain buck-toothed rodent.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, though I wouldn't mind having Severus' hair.....

This story is most likely to turn into drama/angst, so sorry if I mislead you with the genre I posted. My bad. Also, forgive my mistake of saying this is my first fanfiction; I have written a one-shot called "Winky's Problem," if you are interested.

CHAPTER TWO: KNICKERS IN PERIL

Severus' heart raced and the bottom of his stomach vanished. He shakily slipped of the Hat and headed toward the Gryffindor Table, where weak applause was being made by its occupants. Severus slid into a chair the farthest away from James Potter as possible, and held his head in his clammy hands.

"Welcome to Gryffindor!" came a cheerful voice and hand from Severus' right.

He looked up and saw a seventh year boy with a bowl haircut and freckles on his nose. Severus reluctantly shook his hand, reminding himself to scrub the Gryffindor germs off later. Being of the noblest Slytherin nature, Severus wanted nothing to do with these filthy half-bloods with much more brawn than brain.

Severus found this to be true when he heard James Potter guffaw at one of the lamest puns he had ever heard. He doubted the bespectacled boy even understood what it meant.

The freckled boy continued throuigh Severus' reverie. "My name is Gilbert Gilafsun and I'm the first Gryffindor Head Boy in forty-three years. My mum was so proud, she– "

Severus cut him off with an icy stare that made it clear he didn't give the slightest bit of a shit about some stupid antics of this person's mother. If there was anything Severus Snape couldn't stand, it was a braggart. Why reveal your secrets when they could come in handy in battle?

Soon after, the Sorting ended, and a man with long, grey hair, and a beard to match got up from the Head Table.

"Welcome to yet another year at Hogwarts School! I realize that my words would probably be wasted on children with empty stomachs, so let us begin with the Feast!"

As he spoke these words, the tables filled magically with food, causing many Muggle-borns to widen their eyes in shock. Severus snorted loudly at the clear advantage he had over the Mudblood urchins of this school.

Severus stabbed his fork into the most promising steak, only to find the tines of Bighead Potter's fork right next to it.

"Hello _Severus_," the raven-haired boy said, uttering the name as if it were a particularly vile curse word.

Severus glowered and chose the next-best cut of meat and plopped it onto his plate moodily.

"Now, now, Sevvie. No need to get your _knickers_ in a bunch," Potter said as his friends guffawed ignorantly.

Severus turned a disturbing shade of puce as he recalled the embarrassing train ride to Hogwarts.

After refusing to vacate an otherwise empty train compartment, Severus found himself against James Potter.

"Go away, loser," Potter said to the greasy-haired boy, pushing him rather hard on the chest. Severus lost his balance, and found himself tripping over his trunk, unlatching it with his feet as he fell backward. The trunk opened, flinging Severus' belongings in all directions.

Severus frantically rushed around, trying to put everything back in his trunk. He almost succeeded, forgetting only one key thing: a pair of underpants.

The same underpants, in fact, which were in James Potter's hands. Before Severus could get them back, though, Potter had called out in a very loud voice, "I've got Severus Snape's knickers!"

Students flocked from every direction, clamouring to see the underwear, as if they had never seen a pair in their lives.

"Eew...they've got holes in them!"

"And they're grey, too!"

"Gross!"

Severus fled from the compartment, just as Potter filled it, with three other boys who had no doubt been lured by Potter's insensitivity.

_I don't care,_ Severus said to himself as he pushes past the crowds that were still gathering around his knickers. _Big deal. Go ahead, look at my belongings. Like I care._

But Severus _did_ care, worrying as he flocked to the loos, that they might come upon his letters....

Muahahaha! What will happen to Severus' underwear? Find out next time! I promise I'll be back as soon as I can!

G-E P.


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